I can't even recall when I used my first pain killer during the period. Long ago. I got used to consuming 4 to 6 painkillers every month, it was just normal. Never get out of painkiller stocks. Otherwise the pain would be unbearable. A pain that got worse and worse with the time. It would simply hit me once the period would start, hard, for the first two days. Backache, lower abdominal ache, sometimes headache, heavy bleeding. With the years passing by, new symptoms appeared. Already a few days before the period. Extreme mood swings, very sensitive, crying suddenly for no reasons, not being able to explain even to myself what is wrong. And then legs fatigue, stabbing cramps. Every cycle I waited to take the painkiller and see if I could resist the pain. I wanted to check whether the pain killer could be only a psychological need to seek for relief. Never managed to hold up with the pain, not the first days of the period. It's not psychological what I felt, not a fear of suffering. It was pure suffering. And then another symphom, ovulation pain. In the middle of each cycle, another day when I didn't feel well. Strong lower abdominal ache, backache, headache, very sensitive and tense mood.

Every month I had days when I was in pain but I couldn't just lie down, under the blanket, in an embryo position. I couldn't just stop working or being sociable and interactive with other people. The world wouldn't pause for me until I would have felt better. I learned to be strong, to fight, I learned not to stop at the first obstacle. I never wanted to use the pain as an excuse to myself not to achieve what I wanted. I learned to push myself to endure more. I craved to prove myself that my mind and my will can be stronger than my body. I restarted practising sport, up to 6 times per week. I proved myself that my body can do more than I imagine. That I don't want to miss any volleyball match, that I want to practise for running competitions, that I want to run a marathon, even though this means running for hours, swallowing painkillers on the way, stopping at the public toilets on the way. Crossing the finish line and achieving my goal has left only positive memories, no pain can cancel this.

In February 2021 I had my first laparoscopy. Endometriosis found and removed. That was not the end though. Adenomyosis seems to be there too, most likely accompanying me for next years to come. I'm ready to take up this next challenge.